The past few weeks i have come to realize that i was grieving something i never knew existed.
It was only as i began to pack up my house to paint ... i bought the boxes but struggled for weeks to start packing everything away ... just could not find the energy to put my books and pictures and accumulated stuff into the boxes ... as i sat down and pondered why ... I REALIZED ... the expectation that i had unknowingly put on myself when moving to Sydney ... the unspoken unwritten perfectionist overachiever in me had been conspiring to achieve her dreams before her time in Sydney came to an end ... classic looking at the final result and not paying attention to the journey ...
SO i pondered all my over achiever dreams and pondered all that i have accomplished ... gave a voice to my grief ... and watched a sad movie ... and had a chat with you.
Sometimes my plans can overtake Your Plans for my life ... even when i subconsciously deny it ... the truth always come out.
Thanks for knowing me better than i know myself.
Love ya always
Teena
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